Hey guys. Welcome to the Saluber Coaching Show. Helping you make wellness a priority. My name is Dr. Matthew Blaylock. In a previous episode, I asked you the question, do you know what it is that's holding you back? Are you aware of your limitations? Now a lot of people realize there's something that's holding them back, but they're not always quite clear on what that thing may be. In today's episode, I'm going to focus on helping you become aware of that possible limitation in your life (with the belief assessment process), and what it is that you can begin to do to move through or overcome that limitation.
So as we begin today, a lot of people have limitations in their life because of three concepts. The first is hopelessness and then helplessness and then worthlessness. What I mean by those is, a lot of times, people feel hopeless. They want to achieve a goal, but they don't feel like it's possible. I would love to lose weight, but it's just not possible for me. So, they give up hope before they even try. They feel hopeless to reach their outcome.
Other times, people believe that a goal can be reached. Other people can lose weight, but I can't lose weight. They feel that they don't have the ability – they don't have the resources. They don't have what it takes inside of themselves in order to reach the goal that they want. They feel helpless in order to achieve their goal.
Other times people feel that it's possible to reach the goal and that maybe even they could reach the goal, but they don't deserve it. There's something inside of them that makes them feel worthless. They don't deserve to reach the goal. They don't deserve to be happy for whatever reason. Whatever may have happened in their past, they have this limiting belief that they are not deserving of the goals that they want in their life.
The Change Process
Now with those three big goals in mind those three big limitations in mind, I want to begin to talk with you today about the specific limitations that you may have, or you may face in your life. Any time a person wants to reach a goal in their life, there's a change process that must occur. The basic part of the change process is there's a person that needs to change their behavior in some way in order to reach a goal. The person has to go through some plan – some plan in order to change their behavior. And, that behavior will take them on a certain path that will hopefully lead to their goal. So, there's five parts.
There's the person.
There's the plan.
There's a behavior.
There's the path.
There's the goal.
And associated with those five parts of the change process, we can ask a simple question of each of those.
Let's start with the last one – the goal itself. Do you believe that this goal is desirable? Is this goal something that you really want to achieve in your life? Is this somebody else's goal for your life, or is this something that you decided for yourself that's really truly important? What difference will this make? What benefit will you get from it? How would your life be better or different if you achieve this goal that you want? A lot of times people have limitations because they don't believe this goal is really very valuable. It's not very important. It's not a problem with capabilities or worthlessness. It just a problem of the gold itself isn't very desirable. So first, is this goal desirable for you?
Number two is the path of your behavior. What's going to have to happen? Do you believe that what you have to do in order to reach this goal is worth it? Do the benefits outweigh the costs? Is the thing that you're going to have to do in order to lose weight or in order to achieve your goal – is it worth it to you? A lot of times the goal may be desirable, but the path that you would have to go through in order to get to that goal is just too much. Think about somebody that may want to become a surgeon. The path that they're going to have to go through is 10 plus years of medical training. That may just be too much of a path – too long of a path or too much effort in order for the person to get the gold that they want.
The other part of behavior is what you're going to have to do. The consequences of what you're going to have to do or the choices that you're going to make. The behaviors themselves, are they ecological? That means are the consequences worth it – what you're going to have to give up. Not only is it possible. Not only is it the path that you're going to have to go down. But, when you sit down and think about the behaviors, is what you're going to have to do worth it to you? Does that seem reasonable? Think about a person who wants to make a lot of money. The behaviors they're going to have to do – the sacrifices they're going to have to make may or may not be worth that goal of becoming very wealthy. That may be the limiting step that you have.
There's also a plan. The question of, is it possible to reach this goal? There's the path of what you're going to have to do. But just in the planning stage, Do you believe that it's even possible for you to get to that goal? Can you imagine the steps that you have to go through, and can you imagine that you can personally make it there? That's a question about the plan. Is it possible to make the plan to get you from where you are to where you want to be? That's another part. If a person doesn't have a plan, that can be the limiting step.
The final question is about the person. You personally – do you feel that you are worthy? Do you feel that you deserve to reach this goal? Do you deserve to lose weight? Do you deserve to be wealthy? Do you deserve to have a loving relationship with a partner that cares about you? Do you feel worthy to have those things? You can say yes to everything else, but if you don't feel worthy, that may be what's holding you back from reaching your goal.
So those five things – the first part is the goal itself. Do you really desire this goal? Is that something that you want for yourself? The path that you'll have to go through. The behaviors that you'll have to begin to perform. The plan that you'll need to lay out. And, you as a person – do you deserve to reach that goal? You can ask yourself those five questions, and as you ask yourself those five questions, let me add one more piece to this.
You can think in three different ways. The first way that you can think is very logically – very rationally. You can put on the hat of Mr. Spock or Sherlock Holmes and be as rational as you can be. You can ask yourself those questions, and the answers may be yes rationally. But there's more to it than just rationality – just logic.
People, besides just having a head, also have a heart. You have feelings. You have emotions. You have things that go on inside of you that are sensations in your body. And, you can ask yourself from this place of your emotions – this place of your feelings – those same five questions. Do you feel that this goal is a worthy thing for you to achieve? Even though you may say yes, I think this goal is important for me. You may not feel this goal is important for you. So, you can ask from the level of your head. You can ask from the level of your heart.
Lastly, the third part, you can ask from the level of your gut. That's the level of your inner wisdom – your intuition or your inner knowing. You can ask, is this goal what I really need to be pursuing in my life? Logically, it may be fine for you. Emotionally, you may feel that this is important. But for that inner wisdom inside of yourself – that gut feeling – it may be no, this is not right for you. And, that may be the thing that's holding you back.
5 Questions and 3 Levels
So you have five questions, and you have three different levels of asking yourself those questions. Ask yourself from the place of your head (rationally), the place of your heart (emotionally), the place from your gut (that intuition or that inner knowing), are these the goals that I need to be pursuing? Is this the path that I need to be on? Are these the behaviors that I need to be doing? Is this the plan that I need to be moving towards? Am I worthy? Do I deserve these things in my life? That's a matrix to help you begin to uncover things.
Stay Tuned for More
A lot of times I ask people, do you know what's holding you back? They know that something is holding them back, but they're not sure what it is. This is a tool to help you uncover what may be limiting you in your beliefs – what may be holding you back. I'm confident that if you ask those five questions from those three levels, you'll get a better picture of what may be holding you back. In the next episode, I'm going to be talking about now that you've discovered that belief – you can let it go. But, you need to replace it with something new. How do you begin to install a new belief that will help you take action? How do you begin to move forward with what you want now that you have found and gotten rid of this limiting belief? So stay tuned for the next episode, and we'll continue this discussion.
Before we get into the next episode, let me know in the comments down below if there are anything that may be holding you back. Let me know if you've answered those five questions, and if you've discovered any limiting beliefs in your lives. We will start a discussion around those things that may be holding you back, and I'll help you begin to work through how you can let those go. Until we meet again, my name is Dr. Matthew Blaylock. Be strong and live well.