Stress Brief Coaching Demonstration




Hey guys. Welcome to the Saluber Coaching Show. Helping you make wellness a priority. My name is Dr. Matthew Blaylock. In today's episode, we're going to be continuing the series on brief coaching. The focus of today's episode is going to be stress. Stress is something that everyone at some point in their life has had to deal with. The problem is most people don't realize the root cause of stress, and they don't have the tools that they need to be able to effectively deal with the stress in their life. So, that's what we're going to deal with today.


What Is Causing You Stress?


To get right into the topic, what is something that's causing you stress in your life today? I want you to think about that thing to begin with. Whatever it may be. It may be your work. It may be a relationship. It may be something with financials. It may be something in your own personal life. Whatever it is, get that in your head right now so you'll have something to work with.


It’s All In Your Head


The first thing to realize about stress is that it's all in your head. I apologize. I know that's not popular in today's victim mentality world, but stress is not something that is real. It's not something that you hold in your hand. It's not something you can pick up off the ground. It's not something you can set on the table. It's not a concrete thing. Stress is all in your mind. It’s a concept. It's an idea. In reality, stress is nothing more than a thought, and it's the way that you're thinking about whatever situation in your life that is leading to the perceived experience of stress. That's the first key to realizing what you can do to manage your stress – it’s realizing where your stress comes from.


How to Create Stress


People may say, yeah but I have mouths to feed. I have a family to take care of. I have workers that are depending on me. I have a job or a task or an assignment that has to get done. Another source of stress,  besides just the thinking about it, is the meaning that we attach to something. When we give something significant meaning – when we put a label on it that it's important – then if there's some distance between what we want and what we're currently experiencing, if there's any distance between those two things, that's directly proportional to the level of stress that we experience. Think about a person who is totally carefree. If a person is totally detached or doesn't place any importance on something in their life, would there be any room for stress?


So What Now?


Now I'm not saying that you necessarily have to disengage from life and not be connected to anything in order to live a stress-free life. What I am saying is that if you recognize where stress comes – from your thinking. And, you recognize what's causing it –your desire in order to have or do or be something. When there's some importance placed on something, and you haven't achieved that yet, that opens the door for stress. What do you do about that? How can you manage to recognize that your thinking is causing your stress and that it's this distance between where you are and where you want to be or what you have and what you would like to have that's causing stress? What do you do about that?



The Simple Solution to Stress


The solution to stress is acceptance. Recognizing what is is what's supposed to be. When you come from that frame of mind – that frame of mind of acceptance – there's no stress to be had. If whatever is is and you simply accept that, then there's no room left for stress. Now, how to practically apply that to your life? Think about that thing – whatever it is that is causing you the sensation of stress. What happens if you would simply accept the reality of what is in that situation? What would happen to your level of stress if you just said yes that's the way things are supposed to be right now? Would there be any room for stress? If there is still room for stress after that, then what's the cause of that? What is leading to that stress?


The Problem with “Have To”


I can almost guarantee there's something in your mind that says "have to." In some way, you're using the words I have to, or this has to get done, and it's that word – that concept of "have to" – that begins to put you in this mental trap that doesn't have any way out. When you think in terms of have to, there's no choice. But, as soon as you get rid of that word have to and say choose –  I choose to – it restores choice back into the equation, and it opens up a lot of possibilities. You choose to get up and go to work. You choose to complete the project. You choose to have a relationship, or you choose to end the relationship.


The Power of Choice


Whatever is going on in your life as an adult, you're choosing to do it. That's the power of responsibility –  of choices and consequences. When you recognize that you are at choice in all points of your life and at all times and there will be consequences to every one of those choices, it eliminates the sense of being pushed or being forced to do something against your will. When you are in the driver's seat, and you are controlling your life, it will immediately lower your perceived sense of stress.




That is one of the most important things that you can learn to do for your health. Stress has a direct impact on your health and well-being – your physical health and well-being. If you do not take control and in some way learn to master your mind, it's going to, in the long run, negatively affect the well-being of your body. Let me know in the comments down below what is it that's causing you stress in your life? What have you been thinking that's led to the experience of stress in your life? Let's talk through how this stress is caused by your thinking and what you can do in order to change your thinking and eliminate this perceived experience of stress. Until we meet again, my name is Dr. Matthew Blaylock. Be strong and live well.




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