Wellness Coaching Process (Part 2)

Transcript

Introduction

 

Hey guys. Welcome to the Saluber Coaching Show. Helping you make wellness a priority. My name is Dr. Matthew Blaylock. In a previous episode, I began talking with you about the wellness coaching process, and today we're going to continue that discussion. In the previous video, I talked about two questions that I ask the client at the beginning of the session. The first question is what do you want. I said that on any journey that you're going to take you need to know where you're starting from and where it is that you would like to go. And, from those two points, you can begin to plan the route. But, a lot of people are not clear about where it is they want to go. They don't exactly know what it is they want. They're kind of fuzzy. It is not really clear in their mind. So, I spend a fair amount of time at the beginning of the first session to help people get clear about their goals. And, once a person knows where they want to go, what direction they want to move in their life, I then ask what is the proof that you're moving in the right direction. What will you see? What do you hear? What will you feel to know that you're moving in the right direction? What is the proof or the evidence for you that you're closer to the goal that you want to achieve in your life?

 

Why ask Why?

 

Now, those are the first two questions that I discussed in depth in the previous episode. Today we're going to change it a little bit and the first question of today's episode is why. Why do you want that thing? A lot of people come to me, and they say I want X or I want Y. A person wants to lose weight, or a person wants to get in shape, or maybe people come to me and they say that they want to make more money in their business. Whatever the goal is, I always ask them why do you want that thing? Why is it important for you? And, most of the time, people aren't really clear about the motivation behind that goal. They thought about it briefly maybe they heard from somebody else this is what you should do or maybe somebody else gave them a suggestion. They need to lose weight, or they need to get in better shape, or man their life would be better if they have more money. But, the person themselves hasn't thought through what's really behind this desire. Everybody thinks that if they just change some little thing in their life that everything will be okay. They'll be happy, but more times than not, when a person tries to make these changes, they realize this doesn't really bring them happiness. Because they haven't thought about the motivation.

 

The Wellness Coaching Process is a Journey

 

The second reason why this question of why it's so important is because this is a process. This is a journey. It's not something that's going to be done most of the time in a day or week or even a month. A lot of these processes take months and years that a person has to continually pursue this outcome in order to achieve it. And, if a person doesn't have a very strong why behind the what that they want, most of the time they will not proceed to do those same behaviors until they reach their outcome. Most of the time, people wind up giving up part-way through the process. That's why I spend so much time in the first session to make sure that the client has a strong why enough to support that what that they want to achieve. And, once the person is aware of the motivation behind why they want this, they're clear on the what and they're clear on the evidence, we proceed then to begin to look at some other context questions.

 

When

 

When I say context questions, I'm talking about when. When does the person want to achieve this goal? What is the deadline? What's the time limit? Is the person looking six months in the future, one year, five years, ten years? What kind of time limit? What kind of range limit are they giving themselves in order to reach this outcome that they want? Some people aren't clear about when they want to reach their goal, and that is really just as bad not knowing what you want or not knowing why you want it. If you do not have a clear time limit, then things tend to get put off. People tend to procrastinate things that do not have a clear time limit. So as we begin, when do you want to achieve your goal? I talked previously, in the first episode of the series, about what do you want? Hopefully, you've answered that question for yourself. What do you want? What's your evidence? Why do you want that thing? When you're clear about all three of those, let's begin talking about the context.

 

Where?

 

When do you want to achieve this goal? Are you going to give yourself six months are you going to give yourself one year? Anything that gets very far beyond one or two years is going to need to be broken down into smaller pieces. Because, once you get that far out, it's gonna be really hard to stay focused on that big of a goal for that long of a time period. The next question that I ask people is where. Where will you be when you achieve this goal? What's the location? If you are looking around, imagine yourself having achieved this goal and you look around. Where are you? What do you see? What do you notice? What do you hear? Put yourself in that experience for just a moment and allow yourself to notice where you are. Are you at your home? Are you somewhere else? Are you at your office? Are you somewhere in public? Are you somewhere in private? Where are you? A lot of stuff to become clear on for when and where.

 

With Whom?

 

The next question is with whom. Are you going to achieve this goal completely in isolation? Are you going to be the only person that's involved in this goal at all or are there going to be other people around you? We have family. We have friends. We have co-workers. We have neighbors. Will there be other people around you involved in this process? If there are, who are they and how would they be involved in this process? Will they be directly involved or peripherally involved? The reason this is important is I talked about previously relationships have a direct impact on our level of wellness. And, relationships that people have with us can influence our behaviors. Are there people that are going to be influencing your behavior as you move towards this goal? Now those are three context questions that can help you think through this outcome that you are moving towards and the last question of today's episode is maybe the question that you've been thinking is the most important. I've asked all these background questions but this question tied into action.

 

Where the Rubber Meets the Road

 

What is it that you need to begin doing to move towards your outcome? What is it that you need to begin to do? What behaviors do you need to change? What behaviors do you need to start? Maybe what behaviors do you need to stop in order to begin to move towards the outcome that you desire in your life? And, this often times needs to be broken down into smaller steps. Sometimes people take a fifty thousand foot view of what needs to get done. And, people that are seeing the big picture

oftentimes need to come down a little bit and make more specific details. Sometimes people get lost in the forest with all the trees. They are too detail oriented, and some people need to see the big picture. It's a way of processing information. Everyone is different. How do you need to begin this process to think through the steps? What specific behaviors or what specific actions do you need to begin to take starting today? Take some time and think through those. And, most importantly, what action will you commit to take in the next 24 hours? What is the very first action that you can take that will help move you one step closer towards the goal that you want to reach?

 

Conclusion

 

Let me know that first action for you in the comments down below and let me help you stay accountable to taking that first action. When you write that in the comments down below, I'll ask you about that. Have you done this action and allow me to assist you in this process. Until we meet again. There will be more questions in the next episodes so stay tuned. My name is Dr. Matthew Blaylock. Be strong and live well.

 

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